Kindness, Boundaries, and What I'm Teaching My Daughter About Leadership

By Best ROI Media

Being a good father to Melody is the most important thing in my life.

That statement isn't a throwaway line. It's the filter through which everything else gets measured. Every decision about how I run my tech company. Every choice about how I operate my remodeling business. Every moment I spend building something versus being present.

It's also the lens that clarified something I'd been feeling but couldn't articulate: the difference between kindness and compliance.

The Melody Moment

A few months ago, Melody came home from school upset. Another kid had been pushing her around, and she'd been trying to be "nice" about it. She thought being kind meant letting it slide. Letting it happen. Not making a fuss.

I sat with her and said something I hope she remembers: "Never sell yourself short. Know your worth."

But here's what I also told her: "Being kind does not mean doing whatever people want you to do."

A lot of people see kindness as weakness, and it can be—if you let it. But real kindness isn't about compliance. It's about respect. Respect for yourself, respect for others, and respect for the boundaries that make relationships healthy.

Sometimes you have to be kind and mean—mean meaning firm, not yelling. Firm meaning clear. Clear meaning you know where you stand, and you're not apologizing for it.

That conversation with my daughter became a mirror. I realized I'd been confusing kindness with compliance in my own businesses. And that confusion was costing me—in time, in energy, in the quality of work I was willing to accept.

Kindness vs. Compliance

There's a difference between being kind and being a pushover.

Kindness is treating people with respect, even when you disagree. It's listening. It's being fair. It's showing up when you say you will. It's doing good work and standing behind it.

Compliance is saying yes when you should say no. It's accepting terms that don't work. It's letting people push deadlines, change scope, or negotiate your worth down because you're afraid of conflict. It's confusing "being nice" with "being easy."

I've seen this show up in both businesses.

In the remodeling world, it looks like accepting projects that don't fit your schedule because you don't want to disappoint. It's agreeing to timelines that are unrealistic because you're trying to be accommodating. It's letting clients add scope without adjusting the price because you're trying to be "nice."

In the tech company, it looks like accepting feature requests that don't align with the product vision. It's saying yes to integrations that add complexity without adding value. It's letting investors or advisors push you toward decisions that feel wrong because you're trying to be agreeable.

But here's what I've learned: the kindest thing you can do for everyone—yourself, your team, your customers—is to have clear boundaries and stick to them.

When you say no to a project that doesn't fit, you're being kind to the client by not overpromising. You're being kind to your team by not overloading them. You're being kind to yourself by protecting your capacity to do good work.

When you hold firm on pricing, you're being kind to your business by ensuring it can sustain quality. You're being kind to your customers by not cutting corners to meet a price point that doesn't work. You're being kind to your industry by not racing to the bottom.

Kindness with boundaries isn't weakness. It's strength. It's clarity. It's respect.

You Can't Control Perception

Here's the other thing I'm teaching Melody—and relearning myself: you can't control how people perceive you.

Even if you're super nice, their perception is up to them. You can be kind, fair, clear, and professional, and some people still won't like you. Some people will think you're too expensive. Some people will think you're too firm. Some people will think you're not accommodating enough.

That's not on you.

If you're kind and they still don't like you, that's not on you. If you do good work and they still complain, that's not on you. If you set boundaries and they think you're difficult, that's not on you.

Their perception is their responsibility, not yours.

This was a hard lesson in the remodeling business. I'd do great work, show up on time, communicate clearly, and some clients would still find something to be unhappy about. I'd bend over backwards to accommodate, and they'd still think I was being difficult.

I used to take that personally. I'd try harder. I'd be more accommodating. I'd lower my standards to meet their expectations.

But that's not sustainable. And it's not fair—not to me, not to my team, not to the clients who do appreciate quality work and are willing to pay for it.

The same thing happens in the tech company. You build a product that solves real problems. You price it fairly. You support it well. And some people will still think it's too expensive, too complex, or not what they need.

That's okay. That's not your problem to solve.

Your job is to be clear about what you offer, deliver on it consistently, and let people decide if it's right for them. You can't control their perception. You can only control your integrity.

How This Shows Up in Practice

These principles—kindness with boundaries, knowing your worth, not controlling perception—show up in concrete ways in both businesses.

In the Tech Company

Systems over heroics. We build systems that work, not processes that depend on me being available 24/7. That's kind to the team—they can do their work without waiting on me. That's kind to customers—they get consistent service. That's kind to me—I can be present for my family.

Product standards, not feature bloat. We say no to features that don't align with the core value proposition. That's kind to users—they get a focused product that does a few things well. That's kind to the team—we're not maintaining complexity that doesn't serve anyone.

Pricing that reflects value. We charge what the product is worth, not what we think people will pay. That's kind to the business—it can sustain quality development. That's kind to customers—they get a product that's worth investing in.

Clear boundaries on support. We're responsive, but we're not available 24/7. We set expectations about response times and stick to them. That's kind to everyone—customers know what to expect, and the team has time to do deep work.

In the Remodeling Business

Quality over speed. We don't rush projects to meet unrealistic deadlines. We set realistic timelines and stick to them. That's kind to the work—it gets done right. That's kind to clients—they get something that lasts.

Saying no to bad fits. We turn down projects that don't align with our capacity or expertise. That's kind to those clients—they find someone who can serve them better. That's kind to us—we focus on work we can do well.

Pricing that sustains quality. We charge what quality work costs, not what we think will win the bid. That's kind to clients—they get work that won't need to be redone. That's kind to the business—it can afford to do things right.

Clear communication, even when it's hard. We tell clients when timelines need to shift. We explain when costs need to change. We're honest about what's possible. That's kind—even when it's not what they want to hear.

The Legacy Question

Here's what I keep coming back to: what am I modeling for Melody?

Am I modeling someone who says yes to everything and burns out? Or someone who knows their worth and protects their capacity?

Am I modeling someone who tries to please everyone and ends up pleasing no one? Or someone who sets boundaries and does good work within them?

Am I modeling someone who takes responsibility for other people's perceptions? Or someone who focuses on integrity and lets perception take care of itself?

I want her to see that you can be kind and firm. That you can be respectful and clear. That you can build something meaningful without sacrificing what matters most.

I want her to know her worth. I want her to set boundaries. I want her to understand that kindness isn't compliance—it's respect, starting with respect for yourself.

And I want her to see that building a business, whether it's tech or remodeling or something else entirely, isn't about hustling until you break. It's about creating something sustainable. Something that serves people well. Something that lets you be present for the things that matter most.

That's the legacy I'm building. Not just in the businesses, but in the example I'm setting.

Being a good father to Melody is the most important thing in my life. And that's not separate from how I run my businesses—it's the foundation of how I run them.

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If you're building a business and wrestling with these same questions—about boundaries, about pricing, about saying no—let's talk. Sometimes the most valuable thing is a conversation with someone who's been there. Book a strategy session or reach out directly.